Sunday, August 10, 2008

D-179: Little Pills

My inactivity has led to all varieties of nonsense in the comments sections; I certainly have some dumb friends. The reason I have been dormant, is because for the past three days I have been suffering from god awful back pain. I was sitting in the back of an MRAP, and bent down to move a bag, but the bag was stuck and didn’t budge, and my back had been jacked up since.

I went to the doctor, which is something I rarely do, and he gave me Aleve and some blue Ben-Gay like bullshit; reinforcing my belief that going to the doctor is a waste of time (sorry Jewish friend). Instead, I found a different doctor who was able to give me some low grade muscle relaxer called Robaxen, which is doing the trick. I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few days, but in the mean time this is making me fucking miserable.

Outside, we are enjoying an average temperature of 113⁰F; while inside, we are flipping back and forth between the Olympic Games and Russia’s merciless pummeling of Georgia.

The Olympics are sometimes interesting, that is, until the horse dancing event comes on. For reason beyond my understanding, a large chunk of the afternoon programming is dedicated to this ridiculous equestrian event. I don’t know what actual title of it is, but it is an event wherein a rider, dressed up as Mr. Peanut, rides around on a horse. The horse does not run nor does it jump; it just walks around. At some point people clap, and the announcer remark at how the rider should be very pleased with that performance.

Perhaps, if they were riding a rhinoceros, I would be impressed, but horses are well known for their ability to be ridden around, I rode one around upstate one time when I was twelve – I was unaware that the addition of a silly coat with shiny buttons would have made me an Olympian.

As for the Russian invasion of Georgia; that is uncomfortably close to here. I am not a history major, but I do recall some instances where a bunch of little wars and grudges turned into very big wars. Couple that with the fact that a large number of Georgian troops have been giving us a hand here in Iraq, likely buttering us up for just such an occasion. It looks as if the rest of the world is content on sitting this one out – and I really don’t care what happens as long as I am safe and sound and on my way home in February. Anyway, I used to really kick the Russian’s asses when I was playing guns with my cousin, and I’ve seen Spies Like Us like thirty times, so I am prepared for anything that comes my way.

I received a very nice care package from A.G. + C.G., which was billed as care package competition between them and Schwartz + Underpants. Although the latter has failed to deliver, these sorts of competitions are encouraged. I am going to refrain from commenting on the contents of the G’s package, but it was very good and will be tough to compete with. Should S + U ever get off their asses and mail me something, the grading will be done by panel. The panel will include one female, because we only have one female, and her inclusion will help balance the inflated scores that any pornographic content is likely to receive from the gentlemen. Also, it is rumored that AAFES will finally be offering a high speed wireless internet here for only $25 per month; could this be an initial response to C.G.’s harassment of elected officials (I assume NH elects its officials, although it could just be whoever lives closest to the highway)? Who knows, but it sure beats paying $50 to Hadj for slow, shitty internet – plus, I have no doubt that all or part of that $50 helps fund the insurgency.

As pointed out by Golden Girls fan, I now have less than six months to go. While one might think this would make me happy, I am reminded that Navy deployments are only six months, so it's as if I have just started. So right now in Navy world, I am off the coast of Norfolk completing that final CQ. I am hoping that my aircraft breaks, so I have cause to go back to the beach for one night ashore. Tomorrow begins eight days of no-fly as we complete a Trans-Lant, where we will just sleep and attend boring intel briefs until it is time for another CQ around the Azores.

Before I retire with my little muscle pills, I would like to commend Pride for finally defending himself, the beating he has been taking with respect to the shirtless sailor banner has been brutal. Good for you Pride. I apologize if this entry is disjointed or poorly written, I took 3 pills before I started and I’m beginning to get sleepy.

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