Wow! It is pandemonium on the message boards! Sorry for the media blackout, but I have been working on another project, and it is sapping all of my creative energy.
I am drafting another full length “feature” story, but I haven’t had the time to write it properly, so I refuse to rush it out. Besides, it is clear that you all enjoy posting nonsensical garbage on the message boards more than you really enjoy my writing, so I am going to give you some fodder to post about for the next 24 hours, until I can have something properly prepared.
The following is a list of places I have peed since my introduction to irresponsible drinking:
1. On the back deck of an abandoned house to put out a fire that I may have been partly responsible for (1997)
2. In Ivan the Lumberjack’s closet (1998)
3. In my own closet (1999)
4. Out the door of a moving “short” bus (2000)
5. In a bush on the front lawn of a frat house – ticketed by State College Police. When I asked my Dad for the money to pay the $100 fine, he replied: “well I’ve done it enough times, I suppose we were due.” (2000)
6. Almost in the oven of a stranger’s house – redirected to the bathroom by Jewish friend (2001)
7. In my bed (1980-1988), In "our" bed (2002)
8. Off the side of the bridge to the beach in Pensacola; in front bumper-to-bumper traffic (2003)
9. On a puppy (2007)
10. In bottles in my room (2008, on-going)
P.S. Seriously Pride - fix this issue with the text. It is aggravating the shit out of me. I don't care how many shirtless dudes you put in the banner - just make the god damn thing readable.
Quote of the Day:
MAJ X: “I’m telling you; you have sex with a Brazilian, you’ll be pulling the bed sheets out of your ass the next day!”
Everyone Else: (silence)