Sunday, June 15, 2008

D-235: Harold and Kumar? Really?

After reading a GQ write-up on the merits of Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, I am very seriously considering the idea of watching this film that I had long ago written off as idiotic stoner nonsense. In spite of several recommendations from friends, many of whom claim this as one of the funniest movies ever, I still have very serious reservations. Many of my friends are, after all, idiot stoners, many others just idiots, and still many more just have bad taste. But one or two people, who's opinions I generally value in matters of this kind, have caught me off guard by encouraging me to see this film.

The article in the May 2008 GQ, paints a very lofty picture of the film, by portraying it as a sort of journey of two Asian American young men trying to achieve the American dream in a the white man's world, all cleverly and metaphorically hidden beneath a thick layer of dick and fart jokes.

"John Waters in his prime couldn't have packed a better Whitman's Sampler of our national dementias into eighty-eight goofball raunchy minutes."

I don't happen to know who John Waters is, but I do know what a Whitman's Sampler is, and I also believe that I understand this conclusion sentence to suggest that; not only Harold & Kumar a funny movie, but it is an important film and that I should watch it to get in touch with our national conscience as well as be entertained.

The second half of the 3 page article goes on to examine the role of the stoner comedy in American society and film history, and draws on some ominous examples. It calls on comparison to Airplane! and Talladega Nights, both movies that I loved, but also brings up the Cheech and Chong franchise, which is the reason I never wanted to watch this hippy piece of crap anyway.

I know many of you just love those Cheech and Chong flicks, but as I alluded to already, many of you are idiots. I hate them, and I'm also not a big fan of Borat or Jackass, and I absolutely hated Dude, Where's My Car? So much so, that typing that comma in the title annoyed me more than a little bit.

I'm relatively certain that I could dig up a copy of the DVD pretty easily, as idiots are abundant in Iraq as well (perhaps more so), but eighty-eight minutes of my precious free time is something I value, and I don't want to waste it on any crappy kick in the balls, sex-pun, hack comedy. A kick in the bag or a fart make for a great youtube clip, but I have to draw the line at feature films. Further, I'm not the type who can cease watching a movie just because it sucks, I stick it out to the bitter end (except in the case of Just Married with Ashton Kutcher, god that was awful; in fact, I am just going to go ahead and blanket everything with Ashton Kutcher under the "shit that I hate" column except the first few season of That 70s show, but only because that Red Foreman kills me).

So over to you friends, should I or should I not watch Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle?


Anonymous said...

I remember being over my friend's place and they had this movie, ready to watch. I thought, "Oh well, I have nothing better to do." And, by God, it sho' nuff did knocks mines socks off, yessah!

Really, it is number one on my list of all "All Time Best Movies Ever That I Didn't Think Would Ever Be Funny Ever!! And I Love It!!!"

Best line: When Doogie Howser just stole Roldy's car, Roldy's pissed frantically pressing the crosswalk button so he doesn't jaywalk and Kumar ends up convincing him to go anyway. Of course, a cop shows up who is your stereotypical redneck racist bully cop and asks for their names and he hears Kumar's name and goes, "Kumar! Hmph. What is that spelled with like 3 O's and 4 A's?", not really caring what the answer is and Kumar's like, "No one U and one A," and without missing a beat the cop goes, "Yeah? Bullshit."

You had to be there. And you most certainly should be stoned. If not, a good time will be had by all. And by all, I mean you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Tim Russert died and Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is the funniest movie ever and the part in Dumbo with the crows and their Uncle Remus, turn of the 20th-century, newly freed slaves' inspired accent is a good time.

"I ain't never seen no elephant fly"
"Well, I seen a horse fly"
"An' I seen a dragon fly"
"I seen a house fly"
"Well I done seen all dem things, too...."

"Well I be done seein' 'bout e'rythang, when I see an elephant fly!!"

I heard a diamond ring, I heard a rubber band....

When I think about you I touch myself.

Anonymous said...

Wheeeeeeeeeeen you bang from behind, slam a fork through her spine, thats...athanksgivingturkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!