Sunday, June 29, 2008

D-221: Hadj Politico

An Army 1LT who I work with, and who is becoming one of my buddies here, went to the Hadji shop today to pick up some VIP bars and overheard Hadj preaching to some Private about how George Bush doesn’t want him to have electricity.

This is the same Hadj that I buy my smokes from, the same Hadj who wants to have sex with Shakira, so I’m not mad at him. I’m sure he’s just regurgitating some shit that he heard, and the whole event was pretty unremarkable except that it led to a pretty spirited discussion in the office about the real reason that poor Hadj has no electricity and no air conditioning in the brutal 119⁰F Iraqi summer. In case you are wondering, the reason they have no electricity is because they can’t properly maintain their generators, that we gave them; they are constantly fucking with the power lines do siphon off more juice, consequently crashing the grid, and leaving low-hanging wires for trucks to drive into and tear apart; and the fact that the Iraqi government has yet to even break ground on a power plant despite reporting a $5 Billion surplus for the last fiscal year.

Anyhow, here are some highlights from that conversation:

MAJ: “These people haven’t done shit since inventing the zero.”

LT: “If only sitting on your ass with no shoes on produced electricity, these fucking guys could power the world.”

LT: “The whole thing is just God’s great jokes; I’m going to give you oil, and you are going to want that shit, but I’m putting it all in hell. And I’m going to fill the whole place up with the craziest fucking people you’ll ever meet; people who will literally kill their own baby just to blow out the tire on your truck.”

Quote of the Day: Army MAJ

“These people haven’t done shit since inventing the zero.”


Unknown said...

Ha! All three comments cracked me up.

Anonymous said...
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Sandy Salt said...

The truly interesting part of this story is that the Haji had no clue as to why he didn't have power, but knew Bush could fix it. The funny thing is how the rest of the world knows that we can fix anything, but sits around bitching regardless of what we do.

War on terror, Darfur, African elections, and Oil prices are all things that people blame America about

Remember that life sucks and soon enough you will be heading home, while Haji will is still be sitting and bitching.

MatthewGuba said...

@Sandy: Well to say the US can fix anything is a bit aggressive...there is just too much shit in this world that is beyond fixing -- I mean the law in Middle Eastern countries is beyond fucked up -- that's something their religion is intertwined with and we can't really "fix" - alot of that involves a point of view and while we feel we might be fixing something someone else would disagree. While that is kind of an irrelevant comparison, we also can't just provide the entire world with electricity -- I mean fuck, we don't even give free internet to the troops.

Anyway - their culture hasn't advanced since like the 1700's (they still punish women for getting raped - wtf) so why should they be contributing in the science/development fronts without anything pushing for innovation. Their culture reminds me of the "sand-people" in star wars.

The Augmentee said...

Bob Ruby said...

I find you quote, "An Army 1LT who I work with, and who is becoming one of my buddies here" interesting, merely for the fact it implies that said Army 1LT is NOT yet your friend, like you haven't made up your mind. How close is he there ------?

Sorry Bobbo, I had to bounce your comment for using my first name. I'm trying to keep a low profile here.

Anonymous said...

Dingo is right. There's little we can fix. It's not our responsibility or obligation anyway. Morally, we shouldn't fix anything for them 'cause if they're not part of the fix, then that fix has no value to them and they won't respect it or maintain it.

The only reason I think we might want to try to help THEM fix anything is out of our self-interest- maybe if they have some of their own crap they might not be as jealously motivated to blow up our crap.

Sandy Salt said...

The comment about us fixing anything was tongue in cheek. We can't fix everything, but the rest of the world still bitches when we try and when we don't. The rest of the world enjoys pushing us to do things and then loves sitting back and laughing their collective asses off when we struggle.

We have saved the world from itself on several occasions, but what would happen if we went all isolationist? They would blame us for not getting involved.

I am always up to being called on anything, so keep me honest.

MatthewGuba said...

Tone is very difficult to interpret in text ~ my apologies on that

The isolationist theory is an interesting one because we do provide a lot to various countries; from bailing them out economically (i.e. as just 1 example - and what does Uruguay even do?) to providing support militarily (I see no need to cite with the audience of this blog) and I feel our lack of involvement would change the world significantly.

Let me clarify - I assume by isolationist you mean politically/militarily, not in terms of imports/exports -- more of a Canada than, well I guess Antarctica (giving nothing, taking nothing on most accounts)

That being said, I feel we depend on the world a lot more than we realize in our day to day activities. I do not feel we could be 100% self sustaining (well to maintain the lifestyle most US Citizens have become accustomed to). For this reason, and the size of our nation (#3 population?) I think we realize how important it is to be as involved as possible.

Basically what I am trying to say (in way too many words) is I agree the world would be hurt if we isolated ourselves, but I feel we would be much worse off too. - I know you didn't declare a position, just my take - Personally, I feel with the amount of attention we get, and as involved as we are we are always going to get blamed for something from someone. There are just too many different points of view. Even in our own nation people call foul for the decisions we make. It is impossible to satisfy all 300M people in the US, and there are like 6.5B (?) in the world. I 100% agree with you in that we will always be accused of wrong-doing one way or another, and I just feel that is something that comes with the territory - as BS as it is.

Anonymous said...

WE ARE.....

Sandy Salt said...

I couldn't agree with you more and I fully understand that we have to stay engaged, but it still pisses me off that the people sitting on the sidelines not doing shit, still get to run their cakeholes.

But then again isn't that the right we fight for everyday? The right for some pantywaste to sit around cry about how bad they have it while sipping their $4 cup of coffee.

Oh wait they might have to find a new place to squat since 600 Starbucks are closing.

Augmentee keep the posts coming. Particularly like the latest one about the Joe's driving skills.