Monday, June 9, 2008

D-241: Bottle Peeing II: The Plot Thickens

The sign above was posted on every trash can and on the walls up and down the hallway the day after my original post. It is possible that someone here has discovered my blog and is fucking with me; it is much more likely that one of the Joes responsible for collecting the trash has gotten tired of hauling 300 pounds of other peoples piss out to the dumpster. It is very unlikely that this is an order from on high; of which a violation will carry some kind of legitimate punishment. So my conclusion is that we bottle pissers are facing some sort of “Joe Ninja” revenge scheme, should we be caught dumping our wares into the trash bins.

So while a Joe punishment may not be a legitimate punishment, he has the power to make it an actual punishment none-the-less. “Personnel caught, will be dealt with” is ominous language indeed; perhaps the sign poster should be taken seriously. After all, how much do you want to screw with a person who has access to a virtually limitless supply of bottled urine? I could come back to the room one day and have gallons of piss dripping from my ceiling tiles. That certainly would not improve conditions in my scorpion infested abode.

So now my moral dilemma has turned into a risk vs reward analysis. I do love peeing in the bottle; and I’m reasonably certain I could make it to my urine bottle dump spot undetected; but the consequences could be disastrous. This is a tough one; your thoughts?


Anonymous said...

It's obviously an idiot. I mean, who puts a comma after "[p]ersonnel caught"? It's like saying, "People who are hungry, should eat." I hate it.

Secondly, a bottle of pee is a bottle of pee. There's not gonna be any tracing it back to you, unless you're pee is unique and thick like the plot of your story--or unless I'm misunderstanding the procedure involved in throwing away your bottles.

So, you might as well keep doing it because you don't wanna get punished for someone else's piss. Think if you're tied in a chair with said Joe pissing all over you til you drown to death. How angry would you be if you didn't even deserve it?

Deserve it...

Anonymous said...

I think you should continue peeing and tape a sign of your own to the pee bottle....something to the effect of "Your empty threats fall on deaf ears, I will continue to pee in a bottle and there is not a god damn thing you can do about it."

Anonymous said...

could you put a misleading tip on the bottle? like a fake social security number? 071-21-6969?


Anonymous said...

my nuts look like butts

Sicks Tea Niiiiyiiiiine! Ah ppppthbpt!