Wednesday, October 22, 2008

D-99!

D-99; that has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? D-99; it just rolls of the tongue. I like 99; I like it because it’s symmetrical, and symmetry has always appealed to me. I like it because it resembles 69; and that makes me laugh. But mostly, I like it because it’s less than 100.
I got an e-mail from a reader recently, who is at Fort McCoy getting ready to start his IA, and he told me that my relief has been identified, and will be in theater no later than November. This rumor was confirmed by my boss. This is very, very good news. First, it means that there is no plan in place for me to perform any in-theater moves, making cryptic “McLovin’” even more of a douche than originally suspected. Second, November is not far away, and the chance exists, and in fact is being talked about at high levels, of sending one Mr. Augmentee home a little early! Christmas is a long shot, but perhaps I’ll be home in time to watch a Penn State National Championship Game? Hmmm? Maybe blow my savings on a trip to Miami to see it? Who knows.
So, everything is gravy. Plus, I returned to the FOB today; deciding that the conditions at the COP were not dignified enough for a man of my stature, I caught the first train out of there and came back here to change out the old underpants. All things told, a pretty good day.

21 comments:

I banged a new york elitist pig nurse said...

You gonna be able to watch OSU-PSU, libalow Auggah?

99, thbpt pppbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt!!!

Underpants Gnomenclature said...

BOOOOOO on mentioning the title game

if you jinxed us just before the Ohio State game, in Columbus, I'm going to be very dissapointed...

The Augmentee said...

Oh No!!!! I hope my blog doesn't somehow magically effect the outcome of the game. Grow up, there's no such thing as a jinx.

Face it, besides wearing the same underwear for four days, there is nothing we can do except watch and cheer.

Underpants Gnomenclature said...

I disagree...habit of a former baseball player I guess

The Augmentee said...

God damn it - now I'm nervous. D-99 was supposed to me my big day and you had to ruin by accusing me of Jinxing PSU.

Well how the fuck do I un-jinx smarty pants? Do I need to kill an animal or something? Because I'll do it, there's plenty of fucking cats around here.

Sandy Salt said...

The sad reality is that there is no know way to undo a jinx.

I hope the relief does happen as soon as possible, but we'll miss the wit.

Just for the record, I told you so.

Sandy Salt said...

should be known not know

Underpants Gnomenclature said...

Yea, you can't really undo a jinx...but at this point there's no need to think about it -- after all it is just superstition, I mean no one talks to a pitcher about throwing a no-hitter in the 9th, but you sure as shit know he's thinking about it anyway. There is no way you had any effect on the outcome of the game, is that reassurance enough?

Joe 6 pack, 2 joints and a bottle said...

You can remove the jinx and here's how you do it. Bet big against PSU and let Murphy's Law handle the rest. Worst Case Scenario is PSU loses you win money and live the rest of your life knowing you bet against your team.

SEXY FOREARM said...

I agree with Joe 6 Pack. It's bad karma, but there's no way around it. Kind like the fact that after a night of drinking, somebody's wife is gonna be out looking for an arm to grind up on.

Underpants Gnomenclature said...

no, please dont bet against Penn State

@forearm: if by arm you mean

The Augmentee said...

Nope; unfortunately, by arm, he means arm. The Augmentee has a very strange audience.

i pwn teh internets said...

This post seems to be missing a certain ornithological piece...A headline regarding mass awareness of an avian variety...

i pwn teh interwebz said...

Oh, have you guys not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard...

Joe 6 pack, 2 joints and a bottle said...

^what's that guy talking about?


has anyone noticed lately that the word verification is almost spelling words?

Underpants Gnomenclature said...

Penn State > Ohio State

Fuck. Yes.

Big nose or craig rose? said...

Hey Joe Six Pack,

Don't you know about the bird?

NICE!!! My word verification was "bumpo"! It's A BUMPO!@!!! That's my favorite word ever--"bump." I use it for most things.

teh bumpeh said...

This is my favorite bump-eh, but I'M IN THIS BUMP TODAY!!!

plz moar dongs for me!! said...

D-99 DOES roll off the tongue quite nicely. You know what else rolls BETTER down your CHIN?? D-69!!! Thbbdischargeppt!!!

Joe 6 pack, 2 joints and a bottle said...

This blog has been missing something the last week or so.....i can't quite figure out what it is...

OH! a writer! it's missing a writer!

Grandma Obama said...

It's also missing witty comments.