Wednesday, October 8, 2008

D-113: Easing back into it.

I’m definitely back in Iraq; things really got into full swing today, and it all of the sudden feels like I never left. I was so relaxed and refreshed after my Puerto Rican vacation, but 24 hours worth of Army bullshit later and I’m more tense than a wigwam and a teepee (sorry, couldn’t resist). The latest is that they may move me to a different unit; which will be really nice, getting to pack up all the shit that I’ve accumulated and start over making new friends and learning a new job. I don’t want to go; I am comfortable with the status quo. I can’t even call this Army bullshit, as it is just as much the Navy’s fault as the Army, and I am just a pawn in this game. Dust in the wind dude… dust in the wind.

Well, I’m not interested in talking about my vacation. The trip back here took 6 days and was hellish; I occupied my time with NCAA ’09 on PSP and Ambien plus a bed so I could sleep away the horror that is Kuwait. The only positive of the journey was that I was actually looking forward to getting back to my base because I hated it so much. When I finally arrived here the electricity was out, and while the team of 125 Pakistanis tried to fix it by digging holes and climbing ladders and otherwise acting like they were in a Benny Hill episode, we treated it as a snow day and found a place with power to play Call of Duty IV all day.

Yesterday I started getting caught up on all the work that I left behind, and today I found out about the possibility of moving and spent the better part of the day whining about it and pouting; “No Fair.” Just sitting in my room and looking around at all the shit I have everywhere between things I brought, things I bought, and things that were sent to me in generous care packages, I am having a little anxiety attack. I will have to end up just giving all this stuff away.

I’m not sure if anyone still looks at the blog, considering how I have posted almost nothing for over a month. The truth is, I have very little to say these days. Iraq is Groundhog Day – it is beating the funny out of me.

Important Note: I adjusted the D-Number to reflect how many days until I am released from theater - that number is more important to me because life is easy-breezy from there. Also, that number is smaller.


Drunk at work said...

I'm still reading. it is actually one of the fun parts of my day along with icanhascheezburger; funny pictures of cats and dogs with sometimes funny captions. I love it!

hey, you're over the hump and this will all be a distant memory soon. Don't let it break your spirit. Go find some assholes to laugh at. when i'm depressed at work i usually go to my neurotic computer illiterate coworker's computer and do things like set his screen saver to show pictures of cows being artificially inseminated and set the timer to 5 seconds. go find some stupid shit like that to do, it'll lift your spirits.

disclaimer: of course, I realize that's easy for me to say, sitting here in my khaki pants.

bd said...

I've been checking for updates dutifully and I know Dilly was missing your witty comments too. A number of us, in fact, rely on your ability to humiliate and embarrass stupid/incompetent people, often behind their backs. It keeps us sane and allows us to deal with the idiots in our own lives in a much calmer fashion.

I know it won't make you feel any better, but I'm going to Positano this weekend with the wife. I promise to order every drink "stiff" and slap myself upside the head when I wish that my pizza was from Pizza Hut. Who knows, we may even take a ferry to Capri so I can pay $600 for lunch and relive Moby shitting himself for three hours. Hang in there bud.

Sandy Salt said...

I know that things are tough and the Navy likes to jerk you around for no good reason, but the last part of the tour goes really fast. Several of my people were relieved early to head home before their time was up, so you never really know for sure.

I say keep reminding yourself that you get to leave this all behind in a few months. Keep the posts coming and we'll keep reading them.

Maybe not your favorite, but been there and done that, have several t-shirts. The good news is no matter how shitty it gets time has to pass and it does end.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Augmentee,
I'm here to blow a little sunshine up your arse. Yes, things may seem grim now, but look on the bright side - you're better off than a lot of people. Let me put it into context for you:

John McCain spent 1,966 days at the Hanoi Hilton.
OJ is going to jail for at least 730 days.
Bosk has 200+ days until the results of his wife's arm-humping gain a social security number.

You've also got a lotta shit going for you:
you have a smoking hot wife (WINK WINK)
you have a nice fence
you're probably in the top 5% of earners in the US. top 1% globally.
you don't look like BOSK
you're christian
you're a role model
you got balls doing something that other people only wish they could do
you live in a swing state, so you're vote is gonna actually count
you're gonna be able to go into a VFW and drink beer with other men that have similiarly large brass balls and tell funny stories about Charlie
Penn State is 6-0

Hang in there broseph - and let's start planning a vaca for when you return.

Your friend,
Bea Arthur

Anonymous said...

Kwitchyerbellyachin. You could be like me. 85, jewish, a woman, and dead. not a very good combo

MatthewGuba said...

Im still here

Anonymous said...

I hate Bowl but I love Libbalow!!

Also, "tense" joke = hysterical AND never heard it before.

ALSOALSOALSO, Bowl married an Indian! NEVER FORGET!!!!!

And she openly hates him.