Monday, January 19, 2009

IA's Coming Out of the Woodwork

I recieved this one via the "e-mail the Augmentee" function:

Okay, I'll bite. What are "hand receipts" and why are they so important?

I'm a reserve O-5, also in the midwest roughly 1000 miles from the nearest significant Navy base, and have been told to expect recall orders to an IA billet sometime later this year. Your blog does seem to be the best source of info about the process that I can find, so for those of us otherwise being kept in the dark -- thank you. And welcome home. (By the way -- I'm a former NSAWC instructor (helo bubba) and loved your description of hell as an NSAWC debrief. Classic.)

Well Bubba, we'll call you Bubba for the purposes of this discussion: first, I'd like to thank you for your interest in the blog and for calling our attention to the NSAWC is hell post from July. On the other hand, I'd like to kick you in the nuts on behalf of whatever poor Airwing you put through the misery machine in Fallon as a Bubba. So that's a wash.

While all are welcome to send me e-mails - you may find it more fun to leave a comment; it gives all the other idiots a chance to chime in. Also, my loyal fans are dying of boredom since my return to CONUS (at least two original members of the Golden Girls cast are recently deceased), and your comments will give them meaningful occupation.

Before answering your question, I would like to once again express my disgust with the fact that a U.S. Navy Commander considers my blog [quote] "the best source of info about the process." My blog is a complete waste of time for an E-5, let alone an O-5, and if this is the best source of info for deploying IAs, someone needs to get their starfish punched.

Now, the hand reciept is a "reciept" for property that the Army will make you sign for everthing they give you; from your M-4 to a thumb-drive, you will sign about a bazillion of these over the course of your tour. The important part comes when you turn the items back in. At that time, make sure you get the signature of the person you turn your shit in to - and carry that "reciept" in your "hand" until the fucking end of time. Because when the dipshit to whom you turned in your gas mask realizes that he is somehow missing 38 of them - he will forget that you turned in yours and the U.S. Army will try to dock your pay for the $12,000 antique piece of shit that you never even wanted in the first place. Capiche?

Considering that you are an O-5 and a reservist, I would be very surprised if you found yourself embedded in an Army unit. You will probably be relegated to some Joint Thumb in Ass Command in the Green Zone and none of this stuff will apply to you. Tell them about your NSAWC experience and I'm sure someone will handcuff you to a SIPR computor where you can make 130+ slide powerpoint presentations on Soviet era TTP and hide your erection while you view the NSAWC website.


Drunk at work said...

since there is no quote of the day allow me to leave one. from a democrat, hippie, coworker:

"the next time i wanna see bush is at the tip of my nose!"

Anonymous said...

say it ain't so!

Augmentah - It is my obligation to correct your facts regarding the Golden Girls. 3/4 of the golden girls are, for better or worse, still alive.

Bea Arthur - ALIVE
Betty White - ALIVE
Rue McClanahan - ALIVE
Estelle Getty - TAKING A DIRT NAP

One Augmentee said...

I will miss your Posts, as a future augmentee, departing in 30 days I can only hope to be as humorus, sarcastic and cynical as you have been.

I actually found your blog on the first page, just a couple down, I would never go past the second page looking for gouge it's not worth my time, and sadly it has been my best source of info, can't agree with you enough on the NKO and ECRC observations.

Thanks for the service and welcome home.

Jesse said...

hilarous. I'm thinking about joining the reserves for a direct commission, but now i just come here for the humor