Friday, April 24, 2009

The JOPA Commandments


1. Do unto JOs as you would have JOs do unto you; Hinges can go fuck themselves.

2. Thou shall not ask questions that thou do not want to know the answers to.

3. Thou shall not be nude in the stateroom for any longer than is necessary to change underpants. Should thou, whilst nude, make eye contact with another nude man inside of arm's distance, thou hast had sexual relations with that man.

4. The amount of time or money one spends at any strip club whilst in foreign port, shall not be discussed in the presence of any JOs wife.

5. Thou shall not speaketh upon check-in for 12 fortnights; nowhere in "FNG" does it ask for your opinion.

6. Thou shall not point out the professional shortcomings of another JO, no matter how obvious, in the presence of a hinge. Personal shortcomings are always in play (Jorts clause).

7. If thy brother doth become inebriated beyond his means, thou shall rescue him from arrest by foreign authorities. Then thou may lay thy balls on his forehead and take many photographs.

8. There is no crying in Naval Aviation.

9. When thou finds another man's electronic mail account un-locked, it is thy noble right and duty to make that man appear homosexual through a humorous and fruity correspondence distributed to all other men.

10.Thou shall claim what thou have dealt.

*Special thanks to Wu-Tang and Pride for helping create this list.


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